Afterglow 2013 - Day 8 Saturday

We got back home and Mom went and picked up Gracie. She had been at someone else's house all week (I'm guessing Mom's friend Diane) and she must have had a good time away from home. She's normally a very excitable dog but she passed out hardcore when we got home. I just don't dogs. They're all crazy in my book. But to each their own. Mom loves that little ball of nonsense too much.

I get owning a pet. I had Coach Gordon Bombay for 6 years and in July I would have had Korben Dallas for 9 months. He's my whole world and I spend more time with him than any other living thing. I hope that he loves me as much as I love him. He seemed genuinely happy to see me and he even refrained from biting me for a few minutes. I miss Afterglow, but t's good to be back home with my pal.

I don't know what else I can say about this place that I haven't said since 2011. How do you describe someone's final resting place? How do you try and put a positive spin on what is essentially to me a cemetery? I know it is a special place for remembrance and it is adorned with artifacts that dangle from the trees, make noise when the wind whistles by and contains happy trinkets. But I will always have to deal with the reality.

I want to be buried here. Where better to spend your Earthly eternity? But it still doesn't make it easy to deal with. There's a million things I wish for but none greater than to be able to come here and not feel sadness. I know time heals but it will never be ok. The only way it could be ok is for Timmy to have another chance. A do over. But that doesn't happen in real life. So now and forever I will come here and cry.

The only reason that I am able to deal with it is because of the love and support of my family (especially Jenny and Mom). At least we're all in this together. That's really the only positive here. Never alone. As long as I have my family I will never be alone.

I always drive to and from Afterglow and Jenny and Mom fall asleep. I know I'm the man of the house and everything, but I want to pass out too without worrying about possibly killing my entire family. Why can't one them drive! I'm tired too damn it!

After all that sadness we need some comic relief. Enter Scott Reck, fool of the fools. Goof of the goofs. And what better way to lighten the mood than by putting on a plastic bib on getting frosty all over your face (sorry, no picture) like a child? I'm such a mess.

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