Iceman Celebration Day 2016 - Pre-Boat Rage





Yesterday was ridiculous. I think everyone in America and Canada knew that. At midnight I officially entered year 35. When I woke up in the morning (hungover as sure as the day was new), I laughed at this guy asking for privacy while he was huddled over his computer. I know what kind of privacy he was looking for. Bohm chicka wah wah!



The United States sure did look different from where I was standing. I've never looked at it from across a river. Oh wait - I have. When I went to Windsor in Ontario, Canada. Duh. Settle down ya drunk. But today I would do something I have never done - gone out on a boat on a river that divides two countries. And I was going to get right up in lady Niagara's Falls. And she was more than willing to let me do it. After all, it was my Celebration Day. I better get something out of it besides becoming another year old. That I can do on my own.






This morning when I looked at myself in the mirror I yelled out, "Look at me! I'm an old man!" Just like Doc Brown in Back to the Future. I stepped outside my room and noticed there were a lot of foreigners here... said the guy from another country. None of the ice machines were working so I made the front desk get me some ice from Applebees. Then I poured a drink, took a shower and then dressed like me. God help anyone who comes in contact with the Iceman today. Today was going to be a day to rival all of my days.


It took me a while to muster up the energy to leave my hotel room and venture out into the World. I love an adventure as much as the next guy, but hotel rooms really suck the life out of me and make me want to stay in bed. When I finally did, I walked down the tourist strip of the Falls and got sucked in. I stopped to take a pee break in a video arcade and saw vomit in the bathroom (not mine). Some people just can't handle Niagara Falls I guess. After walking away from that mess, I found a truly beautiful sight in a bed of flowers that had bloomed just in time for Iceman Celebration Day. So far Niagara Falls had figured out how to treat a guy right. Thanks a lot pal.






















When I first made plans to go to Niagara Falls for Iceman Celebration Day, the only activity that I had planned was to take one of the boat cruises. Everyone is familar with the Maid of the Mist, but that boat actually is operated by the United States. Since I was in Canada, I decided to take the Canadian boat cruise. En route to the ticket office, I got a good look at the Rainbow Bridge. That is a gateway back to America. I planned on crossing it, but not at least until tomorrow. Right now I was focused on the spectacle that was in front of me. It was truly a sight to behold. I know why people go out of their way to come here. This is something. That's for sure.









Last night I struggled to find Niagara Falls. It took getting all up in the Skylon Tower to see how close I really was. That meant that today I wouldn't have the same problems. When I got to this courtyard, I was able to see Bridal Falls and Niagara Falls all at once. And both of those beauties were a sight for sore eyes. But the real problem came when I wanted to get my picture with these classy old dames. The only problem was the 10 second self-timer and the amount of stairs. It was mathematically impossible to stage this picture on my own, but I still tried. Several times. Enough times be winded. I need to work out. Maybe I'll put that on the list this year.