Iceman Celebration Day 2016 - Hornblower Night Cruise




The time had come for me to board the boat for the night cruise. As I was trying to take the picture, I was faced with a predicament that no mere mortal should ever have to encounter - do I spill my beer or do I drop my phone? I chose to hold on to my phone and at the time I felt that I chose.... poorly. But in retrospect, I could buy another beer. Another phone was too costly for my pocketbook. When I walked through the line, one of the workers tried to hand me a poncho. I said, "No thanks. I never touch the stuff." This was a variation on what I said earlier in the day, but it still got the point across. And once again, I was the only asshole on this boat without a poncho. This further cements the fact that no one rages like me. Not in Canada, not in the United State. Not nowhere, not no how.









Things were a little different here at night. Things were lit up a bit like a Northern Las Vegas, which I will admit did distract from the natural beauty of the place. But it was different from when I went during the daytime, so I could at least appreciate that fact.









It was then that I thought of the 1992 song "Ditty" by Paperboy with the lyrics "Just let me clock this grip in ninety-two and you don't bother me and I sure 'nuff won't bother you. And uh, you just watch a brother flowin' like Niagara, think before you step, because these lyrics just might stag ya." I promise you I was the only one on this boat rolling with that song in my head. A Random next to me apologized for bumping into me. I said hang on to the railing - this trip is unstable. Kind of like my ex-wife. I had reached a new low.
Thankfully they have installed lighting devices behind and pointed at the falls so that you can see it at night. I actually prefer it when it is white rather than when it is colored. Does that make me a waterfall racist? I don't know whether or not I should be upset about that. I'll try and earn back a little goodwill by saying that I love water of all colors, especially when they all exist in harmony with each other.





















I had known ahead of time that this was a fireworks cruise, but I still told everyone within the sound of my obnoxiously loud voice (such as the people from Ohio to my right and the people from Maryland to my left) that these fireworks were especially for me on my birthday. The foreigners behind me then started singing "It's Raining Men" and we all had an impromptu sing-a-long.
















This is about as close as the boat took us towards the falls during the night cruise. This was a true disappointment because the day cruise took me so far up into Lady Niagara, I'm surprised that I didn't get her pregnant. While it was nice that she got all lit up in preparation for our arrival, I would have liked to snuggle up with her a bit. After all, this was my Celebration Day. When do I get to unwrap my present?






























The fireworks ended and the remaining minutes of my Celebration Day were ticking away. All that was left to do was sit back and enjoying the rest of this nighttime cruise as we slowly pulled back into the dock. Thankfully there was enough to see as I walked around on top of the deck and gleefully snapped some pictures to cement this moment for all time. After all, this was one for the ages.